Having a coke with you !

Having a coke with you

is even more fun than going to San Sebastian, Irún, Hendaye, Biarritz, Bayonne
or being sick to my stomach on the Travesera de Gracia in Barcelona
partly because in your orange shirt you look like a better happier St. Sebastian
partly because of my love for you, partly because of your love for yoghurt
partly because of the fluorescent orange tulips around the birches
partly because of the secrecy our smiles take on before people and statuary
it is hard to believe when I'm with you that there can be anything as still
as solemn as unpleasantly definitive as statuary when right in front of it
in the warm New York 4 o'clock light we are drifting back and forth
between each other like a tree breathing through its spectacles

and the portrait show seems to have no faces in it at all, just paint
you suddenly wonder why in the world anyone ever did them

I look
at you and I would rather look at you than all the portraits in the world
except possibly for the Polish Rider occasionally and anyway it's in the Frick
which thank heavens you haven't gone to yet so we can go together the first time
and the fact that you move so beautifully more or less takes care of Futurism
just as at home I never think of the Nude Descending a Staircase or
at a rehearsal a single drawing of Leonardo or Michelangelo that used to wow me
and what good does all the research of the Impressionists do them
when they never got the right person to stand near the tree when the sun sank
or for that matter Marino Marini when he didn't pick the rider as carefully
as the horse

it seems they were all cheated of some marvelous experience
which is not going to go wasted on me which is why I am telling you about it

—Frank O'Hara

And I hope that I don't...

Ontario ♥

I had no idea...

Hurry back !

I am a true believer that the love between girl friends is something to be cherished, and never to be taken for granted. I’ve developed these beliefs because over the years I've gained and lost enough people in my life to realize the difference between a true friend and someone fake. You are hands down one of the most important people in my life and one of my very best girlfriends. You are the most wonderful friend anyone could have asked for. I completely, one hundred percent, promise not to take you for granted. I’ve been through a lot in the past year; conflicts with family, friends, relationships, etc. These are the kind of things that are supposed to be discussed over a bottle, or two of vodka, with your best girl friends. I laugh, cried, and celebrated alone because for a long time I found it difficult to trust anyone other than myself with all the bullshit in the world. But now, I have you. Whom I trust with my life, after spending almost every sleeping and waking moment together how could I not? We're practically inseperable. But now you're leaving me, granted it may only be for a few days, but none the less what am I going to do without you? You're the cheese to my maceroni, you are the milk to my cookies, you're the cream in my coffee, you're the sugar in my tea. Hell, you're the other half of my brain. I'm going to miss you so much, you not being around would be worse than having to shave my head for a week- which if you know me, would be torturous. Most the tears I shed this summer were over superficial things, but this week every tear will be dedicated to you. Who is going to eat pickles and cheese before bed with me? Who is going to call me out on my bullshit? Who is going to correct me on what would be in my best interest when my judgement is clouded? I know you won't be gone for long, and this all probably seems a little extreem, but with a crazy life like mine who knows what will happen within the next few days. I need you, so please, hurry back.

P.S. Happy Birthday.

Let's be adventurers. ;)

In like.

The range of meaning for the words I love you is substantial. You say it to your friends, your family, your lover, etc and the meaning varies. The only problem is once you've moved on from being friends and are starting a relationship how do you say, "I love you," with a meaning that's inbetween? Someone asked me a question yesturday that I found interesting. The question was, " Is it weird for you to say I love you to eachother now that you're dating," my answer was no. The way I see it, if I loved you as a friend that love won't leave now simply because we're dating. However, this question made the hesitation you showed before replying to my," I love you," with an," I love you too," very apparant. Is it weird? Once you start dating someone are you supposed to start over agian at zero? Or continue to move forward? I don't know the answer to this question and I fear I never will. I do know that I love you, as for being in love? No, atleast not yet. In like? Yes, very much so.

Let's try this again.

You were worth the wait.

I must say, you were worth the wait. You've reminded me what being happy is and have shown me that I've been missing out on happiness for far too long.  Everytime you pull me closer my heart skips a beat, when you talk my whole body shivers and when you kiss me sometimes  I forget to breathe. Being with you can dictate completely how my day is going to turn out and falling asleep in you arms, even for just twelve minutes, can turn a day from awful to perfect.  I don't know why you like me, all I know it I really like you. My heart seemed to melt and overflow my ribcage when you reached for my hand that night on the bridge and whispered the words,  "Meagan, will you go out with me?" People say they get butterflies around that someone, that they feel all warm and fuzzy inside; I used to doubt the possibility and laugh at how cliche it seemed. I never thought I could feel that way so literally. Four days... four days I've been able to call you mine and every time I do I can't believe it. I refered to you as my boyfriend for the first time last night and could feel the excitment as the word left my lips; boyfriend. Although, honestly, the thought of us being together terrifies me. Us having a label means that we have something to lose and I never want to lose you.