I miss you like hell. Every single day I miss you, your smile, hugs, laugh and jokes. I need you in my life like I need my mom. I don’t say this just because I feel like I have to, it’s because I need to, and I want you to know this. I miss you so much. And to the days I didn't see your face this summer, I must say were a total mistake. What really hurts me is that I think about you every day. Thinking about you and our friendship used to make me smile, but now, knowing the all consuming pain I've experienced in your absense, it makes me cry. Sometimes I think I really love you but the thing is, I never felt like that. I just missed you so much that I thought I loved you. I thought the feeling I got was out of love, the real love. Sometimes I think that we get so close to the border line of friends- and-more than friends that is confuses us both. Not making up my mind was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made. I'm sorry if I hurt you in anyway. They say that you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. Well, you've been gone for a while and I want you back, the real you. It kills me to see you now, the way you act around other people, around my friends and me. I don’t see anything of the old you, only a new and totally insecure you, needing a real friend. I want to be that friend. I want to help you. I know this sounds really creepy, but sometimes I even dream of you. We're best friends and everything is so good and peaceful. Then when I wake up, I’m sadder than ever. I try so hard to fall asleep again and just picture us together laughing and feeling so safe and calm. But it’s just a dream, and I go to school and sometimes you don’t even look at me. It breaks me inside. I want what’s best for you in your life. I hope you know that. I just wish I could be a bigger part of it.
Yours always
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