I'm in the darkest hour of my life, and no matter how much trust and love I have for my friends theres still somethings I can never share with them. It's been 86 days and counting, it's hard to be strong knowing that, after graduation, I may never see you again. I never thought this would be us, avoiding each other in the hallways and playing this seemingly never ending game of who can pretend they care the least. I don't want to play anymore. The time I spend trying to convince myself I don't love you and that I don't care whether your in my life is nauseating. Its becoming more and more clear to me that the only person I'm fooling is myself. I never knew the true extent of the pain heart break can cause until now. My heart is broken in a way I never know that it can heal. I loved you unconditionally, i would have done anything for you and to this day you remain the love of my life. I thought we would be together forever, but you turned out to be someone I never imagined you could be. I thought I could judge a person but you had me totally fooled. I still don't know who the real you is, are you the boy I fell in love with? Or the heartless jackass I now recognize you to be? Two months ago you started started ignoring me, never called and i thought maybe you were just busy, if only I was less naive and saw it coming. We didnt talk for a month, and when we finally did speak you told me you were over me. I still cant believe it, you don't just get over a love like ours, you don't just forget the love you have for someone. I thought it was just another fight, I wish it was, we would have made up that same night and not wasted all this time without eachother.
The only thing I was most scared of happened, I lost you. I was cheated. My heart broken into millions of pieces and the worst part I still cant get over it. I have to put on a brave face in front of everyone, because i dont want them to know how much it has affected me, I am strong but you make me weak. I wish I could say i hardly remember us, but the truth is i have thought about you every single day since the day I fell in love. Every time I close my eyes your face flashes in front of me, the memories replay in my mind like a constant reminder of the good times we had. It kills me to see you walk past without even glancing in my direction, every time I hear your name my heart breaks all over again. If only I knew when it would finally stop hurting because I'm losing my strength.